101 Things That Dragons Will do For Fun
by JesterBellsILove
Summary: The title pretty much speaks for itself. 101 separate ficlet chapters showing 101 of Dragon’s odd attempts to amuse himself, whether he’s alone or not. Contains snippets of all characters. Prompts welcome. ON HIATUS
1. 1 Terrifying Livestock

101 Things We Dragons Will Do For Fun

**Cows**

A giant green dragon sat in the middle of a grassy field.

Stock still.

_Completely_ unmoving.

Focused entirely on the terrified cow standing before him in awe (Dragon thought).

Slowly, and _ever _so quietly, he reached forwards and gave the poor creature a tiny poke.

It let out a mournful mooing sound. In fright, no doubt.

Immediately, the giant lizard rolled over onto his back hooting and thrashing around in fits of hysterical laughter. For him, the joke never got old.

But you will not be surprised to learn that he was the only living creature left in the field, by now.


	2. 2 Stealing Floppy Hats

Dragon slowly approached Jane and Jester, who were standing by the garden for a chat in the sun. They did not notice he was there.

With a single swipe, he had picked the infamous floppy hat off Jester's head and hidden it behind his back in his huge claws.

Jester's hands went straight to his head. He whipped around. "Hey!"

"Dragon, what are you doing?" Jane inquired, her own hands on her hips.

"Oh, come on short-lives! Just one quick game of capture the hat, nothing more. will it do you any harm, now?"

The two "short-lives" scowled identically.

"Just one game Jane? Pleeeeease?" Dragon begged, almost pitifully.

Jane softened.

"Do you mind?" she asked Jester, turning to face him.

"Not as long as he brings it back." He grumbled in reply.

"Alright. _One_ game, Dragon, and that is all."

"Oh, goodie!" yelled Dragon, clapping his great mitts noisily together.

He waited until his two "playmates" were positioned with their backs to him and their faces to the wall, before flying off as quietly as possible to leave the hat under a rock in his cave, chuckling softly as he went.


	3. 3 Redecorating the Garden

Just to clear away any confusion about the last line of chapter one, which is "But you will not be surprised to learn that he was the only living creature left in the field, by now.", refering to Dragon, of course, when I wrote that, I meant that he had scared the cows away, not killed the,. Thank you for the reviewer who tipped me off on that, and I'm sorry for any confusion. I would never write Dragon as a thoughtless killer. \;~)

* * *

Dragon tiptoed (or at least as close as a dragon could get to tiptoeing) along the castle wall, bent low in the bright moonlight, ears straining to pick up any sound that may emanate from an interruption for his midnight mischief-time.

Nothing.

Not even a breath of wind.

This _would_ be fun.

Slowly, he leant down into the garden and, carefully, _ever_ so carefully, plucked the clothes from Rake's home-made and unconvincing scarecrow. He managed to get them off and into his large claws without damaging them, but accidentally knocked the head off the stuffed sack figure in the process.

"Whoopsie…" he whispered to himself, chuckling after a short pause. The first part of his plan had gone almost _to_ plan. Now to commence the second part, though this would surely be a lot harder.

Even more carefully now, he reached over to the hammock in the corner of the yard, where the gardener himself lay sleeping like the log he had once got himself stuck inside of. Dragon slid his free claw swiftly around Rake and lifted him quickly out of his hammock and onto the wall beside himself. So far, so good.

He then hurried as fast and as gently as he could to stuff the unfortunate turnip tender into the ragged, mismatched garments he had stolen from the scarecrow, before hanging him deftly upon the bare pole now standing in the middle of the patch.

With parts three and four of his plan done and dusted, it was now time to commence part five. This was to get back to his cave before it was the hour for Pepper to rise and put the breakfast on, so that he would not be woken like the rest of the court by her highly silly and unnecessary screams of fright when she saw his handiwork.

He did so, giggling all the way there at his own brilliance.

* * *

Well, there it is, hope you liked it. First one to review gets a snog with Smithy's pig, so...hurry, hurry, hurry folks! /;~)

JBIL


	4. 4 Staring Comps

Thank you ever so much to everyone who has so far reviewed! PLEASE continue to stick around, as it's going to be a long haul for me, with 97 more chappies to write, and I _will_ need further support. Enjoy!

* * *

Dragon stared at the small, relatively innocent looking animal sitting before him in the dirt.

And stared.

And stared.

And….well, stared.

He would _not_ be outdone in a staring competition by a blacksmith's pig.

Not him.

Not _again_.

Dragons _never_ loose their focus.

Suddenly, he heard a buzzing sound from behind him. He could not turn around, for fear of breaking eye contact with Pig and loosing.

He didn't dare move at all, and hoped it would go away, for the sake of his Dragon pride.

But the buzzing grew even louder and louder, until the offending fly came up between the pair of them and flew circles in the air, right in front of Dragon's nose, causing him to go cross-eyed.

Pig made an odd noise, and Dragon frowned. He could not be sure, but he thought she might be laughing at him. In her own piggy way, that is.

He still hadn't blinked when the fly decided to ruin everything and land on one of his appealingly (to the fly) large, shiny eyeballs.

This was too much for Dragon. He gave a sharp cry at having been touched so suddenly in such a sensitive spot (the fly cleared off straight away), and followed this up with making quite a scene: covering his now closed eyes with his claws and stomping up and down, cursing inferior flying creatures.

After a while, however, he turned back to Pig, who was still standing there and had been watching the show with wide eyes, and asked sheepishly, "Best of three?"

* * *

First one to review gets the Chamberlain, so...review, quick smart!! ;)


	5. 5 Prettifying Weaponry

Chap 5! Thanks for all you support! \;~)

* * *

It was far too hot for patrol.

Hot days like this, though rare in their kingdom, always made Dragon feel sleepy and stupid, and he did not think it a good idea to get any closer to the sun than was necessary.

He lay on the wall, relishing in the silence, which made a pleasant change.

It seemed the entire castle was simply lying around, resting, that day, and the king had not even declared an official day of rest.

There was not even any sparring to be seen (or heard) going on in the practice arena that day, as Sirs Theodore and Ivan could not be bothered making forcing the two squires to practice in the heat.

Come to think of it, Dragon did not even know where Jane was today. Most likely reading or chatting with a friend in the shade, or helping entertain the royal children indoors.

Dragon carefully turned over slightly and looked down into the deserted practice arena.

Out of no-where, he remembered that Gunther and Jane kept their practice swords on opposite sides of the yard, so as not to confuse them. This gave him an excellently bright idea for something to do. It would make Jane laugh, give him a way to pass the time quietly, and, most importantly, annoy Gunther.

Dragon grinned to himself. Oh, how he loved annoying short-lives.

He got Gunther's practice sword and turned it over in his large claws. Looking around, he spotted a tree over the other side of the wall covered with bright red berries. These he picked and squished all over the wooden sword, staining it a pinkish-red.

"Lovely!" He chuckled, to himself. "It just needs…something…"

He ripped a couple of vines off the wall and plaited them together carefully. Deciding not to stop there, he flew over to the cherry-blossom tree and picked some of the flowers of it, threading them into the vine-plait.

He then took the finished plait and wrapped it neatly around the sword.

He looked at it for a while, admiring his own handiwork, before putting it back in its place for Gunther to find later.

He went back to his favourite wall, and dozed off.

* * *

First to review this time gets...a glimpse of the Wizard! Such a chance is rare, peoples! :D


	6. 6 Raw Iron Quoits

Smithy was happily working away in his forge with Pig when Dragon landed, not too graciously in the yard outside.

Smithy continued working for a few moments before putting down his work and looking up.

"Good morrow, Dragon."

"Mfgrerrrsnvkjdhdmrrrrr…" Dragon mumbled, falling back onto his hind-legs with a thud that lifted quite a lot of dust and crossing his 'arms' (front legs).

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, Dragon." said Smithy, politely. "Was it something that Jane sent you to get, is that it?"

Dragon sighed and hung his head. "Jane told me to go and eat some more raw iron. Do you have any?"

…Please?"

Smithy looked about him. "All I have handy is…"

"No, don't say it. Some horsy tasting iron, correct?"

"A couple of horse shoes, yes. Do you want them, or not?"

"Want? No. Need? Mmm…maybe…" Smithy stared at him. "Argh…oh…oh alright then. May I please have one of your horsy-tasting iron horsy horse shoes? Pretty pleassssse?" Dragon said, batting his eye-lids and clasping his claws together mockingly.

Smithy laughed, and got one for him. Dragon flew up onto the wall with it, and Smithy went back to work.

Several mintues later, Dragon was back.

Smithy looked slowly up at him. "Yes…?"

"Have you err…got any more, perchance?"

Smithy took a few moments to digest this. "Well…yes. Help yourself-"

"Great! I'll take 'em all!"

Smithy just stared. But he did not think it wise to argue with Dragon when he was this excited, if he wanted to keep his limbs. So he got the box of horse-shoes and emptied it into Dragon's open claw.

"Thanks, Leatherlegs!" And Dragon flew over the wall and into the practice arena.

Smithy waited a few minutes, straining his ears to listen to what was going on, before letting his suspicion take over him and creeping through the archway into the arena.

There was a lot of banging and clattering going on. This was because Dragon, it appeared, had hammered a sword into the ground and was lying a the wall, throwing the horse shoes at it as though playing…quoits.

"…Dragon?"

Dragon didn't hear and sat up, concentrating hard. He threw another horse shoe.

"Dragon?"

He narrowed his big eyes and looked hard at the sword.

"Dragon."

This time he heard, loud and clear. His head snapped up and he instantly began to look defensive. "What? I was…simply-"

"Can I have a go?"


End file.
